Have you seen my dog?

My husband is of no help. I’ve been looking everywhere for him. My dog, not my husband. He bit him once if you can believe it. My dog did, not my husband. Bit the tip off his little finger right off. Then he ate the damn thing. His finger, not my husband. He just barks at the TV all day. My husband, not the dog. No wonder he’s all stressed out. My dog, not my husband. That’s why he bit him, you see? Always complains that I feed the dog better than him. I told him he has a sensitive stomach. My dog has, not my husband. My husband eats hotdogs by the pack and drinks beer by the keg. Bought him an artisan sausage once. My husband, not the dog. Asked me what an artisan sausage was. Told him I didn’t know. He just gave it to the dog. Then he shit all over the carpet and the couch. My dog, not my husband. Ended up having to throw it out. The carpet, not my dog. People tell me my husband looks like my dog. I think he’s uglier. My husband, not my dog.

Copyright 2021 Zee Weasel
French Bulldog Photo by freepik

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